How To Break Up Painlessly
Breaking up is never easy. Whether it is initiated by you or by the other side, break up usually leaves at least one broken heart. And yet , the separation is a better option than to stay on in that struggle. Sometimes it’s a necessary evil .You have no longer feelings for your partner? You feel that you will be happier with someone else? It’s time to start thinking how to break up the relationship. Break up is never easy.There is no magic strategy that will make the separation easy and simple, but there are some tips and tactics whose help you will be able to break your partner as painlessly as possible.
How To Break Up Gently
- Think well why you want to end up the relationship
If you think about break up immediately after a heated discussion, it is best to wait until you are on cool head because it is likely to change your mind later. If it comes to your mind while you are parting, think about the reasons why you do not want to be with your current partner.
- Avoid meeting each other for a couple days .
Avoid lengthy conversations. Tell your partner that some days you have too much work or too much to learn and you won’t be able to go out together. When you call, be colder than usual. Little break to you will give you a better opportunity to consider whether you really want to break and your partner will indicate that something is wrong .
- If you are sure that this relationship is not for you, don’t postpone .
You know you need to break , but you don’t have courage . You think : ” All my friends and family loves my partner,I’ll wait for them to change their opinion ,” ” I wants to wait some time to cool my feelings too ” … Error and error again . The more you wait, the more you struggle and you risk to get your partner even more attached to you or to start making plans together ( for summer holidays or in a pinch – engagement ) , and ultimately termination will fall much harder .
- Your partner should find out first about the break up
It’s okay to talk to your best friend about problems that you have in a relationship , but in no way speak before the whole company that you intend to break . Some people do not know how to keep a secret , so the news can quickly reach his/her ears or News Feed on Facebook. If you care about your partner’s feelings and dignity just a little you should tell him first .
- Break up in person.
Do not use e-mail, Facebook or SMS- messages to tell the bad news. Break up through message is cowardly action . Can only use this method if your partner hurt you so much that you want to see his face.
- Choose a suitable location .
Agree to find the middle ground. It should never be in your partner or your home. But if you don’t want to humiliate your partner, neither it should be too public place like a coffee shop or restaurant . You can never predict how he/ she will react when you tell the news. Best place is anywhere in the park.
- Be honest but sensitive .
There will be a mistake if you start with the phrase ” We need to talk .” Might act as a rubber stamp , but also your partner will immediately get an idea of what is going on. Don’t mention worn reasons : ” It is not about you, the problem is me . Currently I want to be alone ” But don’t be too cold. Give a few examples of the things that bother you and explain why you don’t fit to each other.
- Do not leave place for ” maybe” .
Do not give false hope just to be comforted at that moment. Your partner needs to know that you put an end and he must immediately start to accept the things. If you start fooling with ” Now I’m not ready for a serious relationship , maybe in a few months ” or ” There is hope , but I need time,” he will not be able to immediately start the process of getting over. Be honest .
- Expect any reaction
Be prepared to see the tears , anger , outrage , coldness or your partner begging . ” Please don’t ” , “How can I do this ? ‘ ” I regret about this, ” ” You’ll never find anyone like me ” … These are just some of the reactions that you can expect. In the worst case, expect your partner to become violent and threatening. Before you start the conversation, you must be prepared for these reactions to be able to react soberly
- Do not let yourself be manipulated .
If you have decided that you need to split up , stick to that decision. You certainly do not want to stay n relationship because of the sense of guilt .